My parents divorced when I was a child and my mother never remarried. I’m afraid of marriage, mainly because I don’t really know what it will be like to have a husband. I worry that he’ll change after we get married I’m on team jesus i’m not religious i’m a christian imperfect and unworthy saved by grace seeking after god shirt , maybe becoming distant and indifferent towards me and lose interest in keeping up his appearance or even basic hygiene (definitely projecting from my own parents). It seems like 25% of fictional portrayals I’ve seen make marriage look unrealistically wonderful, 30% so incredibly miserable that the audience spends the whole thing cheering for them to break up, and 45% where the husband is really dumb and constantly making stupid decisions and the wife spends most of her time henpecking him and trying to compensate for his stupid decisions (which makes the Christian ideal of man as the head of the house and final decision-maker sound really hard to endure without complaint).
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I read books on Christian marriage, but they always seem to be a little vague, giving advice like you should unconditionally love and respect your I’m on team jesus i’m not religious i’m a christian imperfect and unworthy saved by grace seeking after god shirt, forgive his slights and let things go, be ready to compromise, and accept your role as helper, but still not saying what marriage looks like in practice. I’m not saying any of this is bad advice, but it often makes it sound like marriage is little more than a constant struggle to the point that you suspect it’s an institution to low key punish people for being unable to tolerate celibacy. Then I’ve read that like 95% of American men have viewed internet pornography in the past month, so even though this would hurt me, asking him not to do so sounds like an unrealistic expectation.
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